Good morning All,
I crawled out of bed this morning feeling sick to my stomach after having spent almost an entire night fretting over the right decision to make. Should I stay or should I go?! (there's a song there somewhere!).
I'm coming home tonight on the 10pm Ryanair flight to London Stansted.
I don't mind admitting that I am sobbing like a girl just knowing that he will still be here when I am not, however as a very special man said to me, "you're not leaving him, you're preparing for his arrival".....This is indeed true, however it doesn't stop the enormous guilt I feel. The Gods were trying to tell me something this morning, the cereal I normally have has gone, the duck that was nesting outside John's window has up and left and my deodorant has now run dry.....signs?!?!?!
I would say it will be nice to be home but nice is not the right word, it will be easier to cope being in familiar surroundings, the dogs, our friends and family.
No news from Thunderbirds yet (its only 10:20am in the UK right now) however the ever amazing Dr Wattenberg (he who worked at Lewisham Hospital!) has already been on the phone to them giving them 'emotional blackmail and pressure'....let's hope it pays off for John today. His figures are absolutely fine, apart from being very hot and sweaty - the steroids always make him sweat a lot. Other than that he's just waiting to be flown home to begin his recovery and rehabilitation.
Now, when I am home the daily updates are going to cease, I will only be updating our families. I will be returning to work, home life, dogs, friends, and most importantly seeing John in Lewisham and so daily emails are not going to be at the top of my agenda. Any future videos will be uploaded to the YouTube account that you all have the link to view. If you would like to know how John is doing please, please feel free to contact me and ask. You can do so via my email address, you can call or text my mobile or you can call me at home. I would love to hear from any/all of you so please, if you would like to, stay in contact.
Also, when John is in Lewisham there will need to be some sort of visiting 'structure' in place and I would like it to be coordinated through me. Visiting hours in the ITU are 10am to midday and 4pm to 8pm. They only allow 2 people at any one time to be with a patient. So if you would like to visit, please check in with me to make sure there isn't an army of people already descending upon his bedside!!!!! It goes without saying that priority will always go to our Sons, Henry and James and John's immediate family. Everyone else, please form an orderly queue......thank you for your understanding.
Should any of you visit and are not in London, I would love you to come and stay at the flat. We only have a little bed settee in the lounge (which you will most definitely have to share with our dogs Max and Millie!!!) but the offer is there so please do ask me. Just don't expect me to cook - can't, shan't and won't.
I think that's it for now.
I'm off to try and fit three bags into two so that the evil Ryanair Bag Police don't charge me an arm and a leg!!!
This is Bremen signing off.
The Johns are COMING HOME!!!