Hello One and All,
Today has been a day of no change, nothing, nada, not a jot. I very nearly did not do an update tonight.
We had a chat with the Doctors this morning and they have told us that John now needs to start showing them, indicating to them what is or is not working. They cannot reliably diagnose any further until John 'does something' other than lie there and do nothing which he pretty much did today.....no movement, apart from a very rare hand grip, it really was very frustrating to have absolutely no feedback from him.
They have started to reduce the sedation and he really should be doing a little more than he is but he's just not......perhaps he will 'kick off' tomorrow seeing as Mag leaves in the morning and I will be alone all day.....he had better not because I will be the one pressing the button to raise his sedation, I can assure you!
Of course, the longer he is out of it, the more healing he is hopefully doing, BUT the longer he is out of it, the less anyone can find out, diagnose, treat, etc. It really is a double edged sword and alas Hubby's on the wrong side of the blade at the moment. Tomorrow is another day and we will see what it holds....
One funny thing happened today. Mag was with John this afternoon while I was dealing with some administration and I joined her there in critical care. As I always do when I enter his room, I leaned over the bed to give him a kiss. As I bent down to kiss him, he rose, as if to greet me and I have to say my world fell out of my a*se!!!! Mag could not talk for laughing and I think she may have wet herself. I had my hotel room key in my pocket which has a huge wooden fob on it. As I bent down to kiss him the fob pressed the bed controls and I unknowingly raised my Hubby's upper body.....I shan't be taking the key with me again, my heart cannot take it!
Now, about last night......you may have got the impression or think that I might have lost it/I am on the verge of losing it.
Let me reassure you.....I'm not ( it happened years ago I can assure you of that!).
It was more a way of venting/voicing/mentally filing my feelings, thoughts and emotions.....yes, of course I'm extremely upset but I am far from done with my man and under no circumstances will I be finished here until he is home in the UK with me.
He does indeed need me and here I will be because I also need him.
I am fine....honest :-)
Your love, kindness and support are hugely important to me, I just need to 'shout out' now and again, it won't happen often, I promise.
I'm now off to terrorise my sister in law for one final evening before she leaves for the UK (I cannot tell you how envious I am!!!!).
Tons and tons of love,
Me & my Hubby
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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