Greetings from Knackered-ville,
Today has been tiring.
Very tiring.
I'm not sure how much Adrenalin I have left in my body as I used an enormous amount today and I feel the need to crash...it's catching up with me I think.
John's lovely Sister arrived yesterday evening and I am so glad she was here today.......Johnnie has started to wake.
Now I know over the past week I have been longing and longing for him to wake up, however after today I have the overwhelming urge to put him back under sedation again! He's been 'kicking off' a couple of times, not literally you understand as he is still almost unconscious but you notice his blood pressure and pulse rise and you know things are going on.....it's draining to watch and experience and my own 'levels' have been going through the roof, as have his Sister's.....it's been quite a day!
We've had his left hand squeezing who ever is holding his hand, we've had a minor bit of leg movement in BOTH legs and his eyes have opened, not fully, but they've opened. Now, I say BOTH legs as they are worried that the damage he received to his brain (they're saying stroke) may have left him with one sided paralysis....but after today, we are not so sure now.....
We are also of the opinion that there is some recognition going on, we're not entirely positive (you can't really be sure at this early stage) but when we were talking to him and asking him to squeeze our hand, he seemed to do it, not straight away but it happened. Yes, I am probably grasping at straws but I need to. I need my Husband back so any positive I can find I will.
I also kissed him on his lips today and he turned his head away.....not quite sure what to make of that but at least he moved his head....
The worst part of today was when I tried to kill him......I was manoeuvring myself to give him a kiss and my hand knocked the ventilator that is inserted into his Tracheotomy and it FELL OUT! Well.....I don't know about Johnnie nearly dying, I nearly did.....and as for his Sister, she just stood there laughing uncontrollably at me and nearly wet herself! It was not funny for me, my world nearly fell out of my trousers. You'll be pleased to know that I inserted the ventilator as quickly as possible and I don't think he noticed....unless that's why he turned away when I tried to kiss him...?!?!?!?!
Tomorrow we are going to commence music therapy - the Dr thought it a good idea for us to plug him into his favourite music on his iPod as it may help him to come round....she obviously isn't aware of his dodgy taste in music!
That's about it for today Kids, we are both shattered and I really need to slide into bed and just try to relax.....it's been a very fraught, tense week and it's not about to let up yet!!!
Maybe tonight will be the night I sleep....maybe.
Guten Nacht mein Liebchen.
John und Johnnie xxxxxxxxxx
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