Monday, 1 April 2013

Easter Egg

This is no ordinary egg.
This egg has powers.
This egg can transport you back to another life.
This egg can make you cry.

The Fairy God Children have been away overnight this Easter so last night and this morning I was on 'chicken duty', making sure the Hens were put in last night and letting them out again this morning (at an ungodly hour I might add!!!!!). 
This is something I did in London countless times over a number of years with Harriet, Ruby and Nigella.

But....that was when I was We, We were happy and We lived in London (and We were both alive!).

It didn't bother me that I was looking after the Girls, I looked forward to it and I will always help out the Fairy God Children where and when I can - that's what Fairy God Fathers are for, non?! 
It wasn't until I collected the egg and started walking back to the house when it hit me, like egg in my face in fact, that the last time I did this was when John was alive.
I hadn't let the Girls out, put the Girls in or checked for an egg since Thursday 19th April 2012, the day John fell ill and all Hell broke loose!
I stood in the garden, this tiny little egg in my hand (freezing my tits off!) and I cried.....big, heavy tears....not a pretty sight first thing in the morning!

However, it's another 'thing' crossed off the list isn't it? 
Another first without my Hubby.
Something else I have done since his Death.

To rub salt into an already festering wound, I visited Hardy Exotics today....a 'tropical plant' nursery here that we visited EVERY time we came to Marazion.
It felt wrong being there without him.
But again, something else crossed off.
I can't spend my life not going to places or doing things because John and I did them.
I'd be living under a brick if that were the case!!!

1 comment:

  1. Hi there!

    I found this blog through your old blog Hens in the City. So sorry for your loss.

    I wish I had something insightful to impart on you, or something to help you through the pain (like so many other random internetters!).

    I too have lost close family members in the last few years...

    Grief is like an open wound that heals to a scar, which then over time fades - it never leaves you and you will always remember how you got it, but it doesn't hurt quite so much any more.

    Something I do is look up at the sky on a clear evening, find the brightest star up there and have a little chat with those I have lost - silly I know, but after a while it doesn't feel silly - I don't always do it, but when I miss them, a star will always be up there - waiting for me.

    Anyway - sorry to drone on - keep your chin up chap and keep blogging!