The Way We Were...

Today, while going through my old emails at work, searching for reminders of my life with my handsome, wonderful Hubby, I found this marvellous picture taken at our friend Raymond's 80th birthday. Raymond sadly died in April not long before my man fell ill (Death is everywhere!). 

Indeed, our amazing Civil Partnership ceremony was in the grounds of Raymond's lovely home, surrounded by his magnificent bird collection. A day I will never, ever forget for the rest of my entire life.

This picture was taken in the Music Room.

For me, it just goes to prove the illustrious circles that my man moved around in. 
Who chats, drinks and has a laugh with SIR DAVID of an evening?!?!?!?!?! 
Oh yes, WE DO (er....did!).

Hubby drank, cavorted, danced and socialised with Legends, he was friends with living Legends, he was and always will be a LEGEND!

You (and He) will never, ever know how much I miss him and long for him. I crave a cuddle on the sofa, a hug, a kiss from his soft lips, a look from those beautiful blue eyes. 
I'd even take a smelly old man fart right now quite frankly. 
Something, ANYTHING!

The gut-aching, heart-crushing, all-encompassing pain of loss is torture. I no longer love my job. 
Working each and every day in a hospital is just hateful. It really is. 
Everywhere I turn, be it at home or now at work, I am reminded that Mr. John Arthur Ellis is no longer with us, no longer with me, apparently no longer alive.
Death's cloak blinds me to all and everything outside of it's pitch black darkness.
I am smothering and suffocating in Death.

Don't watch this, just listen!

Oh, by the way, I collect his ashes tomorrow.......

Would that be another THURSDAY?!?!?!?!?!?!