9 to 5

Today is my first 'Friday feeling' in 3 months.

I successfully completed an entire week in my new job.

It went relatively smoothly apart from one day.

Wednesday.

It did not go well.

Monday and Tuesday were as you would think - information overload, learning the ropes, handovers, new colleagues, etc.

No surprise there.

Wednesday morning I woke up feeling 'off'.

I was not happy.

I was emotional from the moment I woke up.

On Wednesday I had a 'familiarisation trip' which took an entire day.

A day spent at a couple of Cornish mines, learning about the now extinct industry.

Gathering information about the organisations that I will be dealing with on a day to day basis, in particular Cornish Mining World Heritage (http://www.cornish-mining.org.uk).

It could have been so much more interesting if I had given it a chance, allowed it to sink in.

Instead, I spent the day fighting, literally fighting tears.

I was unhappy, emotional, I did not want to be there.

All I could think of was walking, leaving.

I didn't want the job.

I absolutely did not want it.

I wanted to go back to the office and tell them I had made a huge mistake.

All day, all I could think was "I'm not ready for this".

It consumed me.

My mind was pitch black.

Nothing was right, it was all wrong and negative.

I spent the day trying to hide my tears.

Wednesday evening was me pretty much sobbing, trying to justify to myself why I should give up the job. 

Why I shouldn't be there. 

Why I was better off sitting at home with the dogs.

It wasn't a good night.

I was a mess.

I woke up Thursday morning full of doom and gloom, I walked the dogs and got ready for work, still of the opinion that I was going to turn up, resign and walk out again.

On the way to the car I had a chat with my Hubby.

I basically said "prove me wrong".

Show me that taking this job is the right decision.

Make me believe that I am doing the right thing.

Give me the kick up the arse that I obviously need!

Yesterday, I had a really good day!

I connected with my new Boss.

I calmed down.

I felt 'better'.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe in that 'beyond the grave' crap, I really don't.

But, all I did was 'put it out there' into the cosmos.........I like to think John had a hand in it.

You'll be pleased to learn that my emotional state has returned to something resembling normal, not that I have ever been normal!

And, I also got another interview invite this week for a job in Penzance working for Cornwall Council (which I declined as I already have a job don't I?!)....

It seems I'm in demand now!