Love, Actually.

In the early years of our relationship I kept a scrapbook of all the messages, emails, texts, love letters, cards, etc that John sent to me.

It is full of our love.

I've just found it.

Can a broken heart break even more?

I will share with you one of the first messages John sent me prior to our first 'official' date:

My brain is churning (so is my stomach). Not quite sure what's happened apart from I'm ridiculously happy yet apprehensive over this weekend.

With this much anticipation I really hope we do get on, I'm sure we will - I just want to be with you NOW for chats, beers, fags and laffs.......

I want to get to know you, look into those eyes, to make you laugh, to go exploring, to find sunshine (even on rainy days), to dance, to hug. Most of all, I don't want to disappoint you. Cards on the table, I am still getting over the last bastard and still a bit raw so you will have to take me as you find me. I NEVER anticipated meeting somebody quite so wonderful as you.

Seduced by the power of text, phone and email, I love it LOL.

Okay, I guess I need a beer now as I have just read what I wrote and almost deleted it! I really CAN'T wait for Saturday afternoon - sorry I have to work Sunday but it's workable :)

Until my phone beeps again (and I smile as Gorgeous John pops up on the mobile!) and Saturday night, take care you (bugger, run out of expletives worthy of you) scrummy, gorgeous, funny man. J xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I will take it to bed with me this evening and read every single page.

And cry, and cry, and cry.