I Am Moved...

I did it.

I left London.

The pups and I escaped by the snowy skin of our teeth as flakes the size of man-size tissues fell around us as we headed towards the M5 and the West Country.

To our new home.

Moving in was a logistical nightmare but, with the humongous assistance from my God Kids' Dad, we did it.....I think I owe Lawrence a new clutch, a new spine and about 15 years worth of baby sitting!!!!!! 

However, we did it.

So how do I feel?

More than anything, it upsets me to think that I cannot tell John about this new (lovely) house. 

I cannot share this new adventure with him.

He would love this house.

He loved Marazion.

He loved Cornwall.

He isn't here, his presence isn't here, he's never been in here, but he is here with me, in our stuff, in our furniture, pictures, our life detritus.

I've already told my lovely neighbours, Heather and Richard, all about him and how amazing and wonderful he was.

Oh yes, my Hubby is here with me.
In my heart. Forever and always.

I moved in on Saturday and Mum came to stay on Sunday to help me move in (she did a sterling job!).

Mum left today, so from tomorrow I am properly on my own.

This is when I will really see how I feel.

How I cope.

How I spend my time.

I had a little 'meltdown' this afternoon.

I am sure there will be more.

However, I'm now most definitely in the right place to have them.......I can stand on the beach, turn into the wind (and rain) and I can fucking well SCREAM! 

The good part is I only have to turn around, walk up the hill for 3 or 4 minutes and I'm home, in the warm, with Max and Millie......and everything is alright again.

We will be alright again.

I will be alright again.

Eventually.

It's the Farmer's Market in Penzance tomorrow.

I'm going to select a lovely hunky one methinks.....!!!