It's Actually Happening.....

This is what one of my best friends said earlier when I posted a picture on Facebook of the lounge, half empty, piles of packed boxes about the place.

Yes, it is indeed actually happening, I am moving to Cornwall.

At the age of 43 I am starting again......again!

The dogs and me are having a new life in deepest, west-est Kernow.

My friend also said that it made him feel sad.

It does me too.

Sad, worried, anxious, petrified.

I cannot tell you just how much I want John with me right now.

I long for him, for a Johnnie bear hug, for a kiss, for him to hold my hand and tell me it will all be ok.

As excited as I am, I am also fucking scared.

I am really rather anxious.

I am 100% confident that I am doing the right thing for me and the pups.

But......this has been our home for nearly 10 years.

John and I moved in here together.

We built our love, our relationship, our life, our 'success' within these walls.

I will miss it here very much indeed.....it's a very special place, a gorgeous little flat and a place that contains some extremely precious memories. 

We have been very lucky to have the BEST landlady in all the world, a true gem of a lady and I am honoured to call her a friend.

I hope one day that she will visit the new place and I can turn the tables and offer her food and lodging for a wonderful time in Cornwall.

I am gagging to get to Cornwall, to get moved in, to get unpacked and start living.

I can feel the beach, the sea, the ocean and the countryside calling me.

I find myself day dreaming about walking the dogs on the beach or in deserted woodlands, about discovering the most ridiculously narrow roads, about making new friends (I am really going to miss my London chums!!!!), about becoming part of a thriving community where I will know people by name and they will know me.

I am looking forward to making a home, a nest.

To reconnect with my Sister and my Mum.

To playing with my new little niece and for her to get to know me and I her.

To frolic with my beautiful god children, to play silly games, to laugh out loud, to eat too many sweets, to roast marshmallows by the fire and cuddle up on the sofa watching a dvd.

I only wish that John was doing all this with me!

.......and I still have to do that frigging drug drawer......*eek*