Dear All,
Not ten minutes after sending out last night's update I received a call from the Critical Care Unit in Bremen.
They called to inform me that John had developed a 'huge' bleed on his brain and that there was extreme pressure. They had taken him for a CT scan and the consultants had consulted. They agreed that there was nothing that could be done for John, it was too serious, too much and (this is the worst bit!) John would not survive. They thought he might be brain dead.
Henry, James and myself flew in this morning and went to see Hubby. We were greeted by the ever lovely but crying Dr Loeschcke who sat with us and informed us of the situation we were facing. Basically, it is a one way street, there is no way out of this one. There is nothing that anyone can do, my Husband, the Boys' Dad is dying. We discussed John, his personality, his ideals and things such as his life support and ultimately organ donorship for which we gave the go ahead.
Tonight, John was assessed for any possible organ transplants. We went down afterwards to see him and we were informed that although his brain IS dying, he is not yet brain dead as he still has minimal perfusion and so no organ harvest can take place and his life support cannot be turned off.
It is with utter heart breaking sadness that I tell you that his brain IS dying. My wonderful Husband, the Love of My Life, Father to Henry and James, Mr John Arthur Ellis will not come out of this, he will not live. They are going to perform today's tests again on Thursday and we will see where we are. This will continue until his brain is officially dead.
We return to the UK in the morning. I have said my goodbyes, if I am honest I have sort of been saying them for almost 4 weeks now. I will not stay here and watch my Husband die, I don't consider that at all healthy and I don't want to. I will wait for him to come home. They give the impression that it's only a matter of days anyway.
I am so very sorry that some of you have had to 'hear' this via email but I don't have everyone's contact details and so cannot tell you properly. I am truly, truly sorry, this is a shit way to find out and I must apologise. I'm so so so sorry.
I will keep you informed as and when we hear.
In the meantime, please feel that you can contact me.....call, text, visits, whatever, just do....please.
Much love,
Me and my wonderful Ellis Boys
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